Part 4: Politics, Power Plays and Conflict
Sharon Feltham, Excellerate
Many years ago I began a new job full of optimism however within days I was quietly taken aside and counselled to “Watch my back”. It was advice given with the best intentions but I was already being recruited into “the game”.
I am still hard pressed to think of any other expression which can so quickly sow the seeds of doubt that undermine our professional and personal relationships. It is after all, code for "Don’t trust them”, but where are we without trust?
In life and the workplace it is impossible to achieve anything in isolation and so trust becomes the lifeblood that sustains the relationships we need to get things done. When trust goes missing so does the relationship. Words and actions are filtered through a veil of suspicion. Second-guessing and butt covering replace effective decision-making. Communication breaks down, conflict is driven underground and triangulation thrives. All of which divides and destroys a team
In this months article we continue with the series on politics, power plays and conflict by delving into the world of triangulating teams. I’ll also step you through a few strategies to guard against triangulation and how to deal with it should it surface in your team.
I hope it helps. When I reflect on “that” job I think of the huge difference it would have made if I (along with so many others) had been welcomed on board with, “Great to have you on the team. We’ve got your back”
(If you haven’t read the
previous articles in this series I recommend you do so, you’ll get more value from this one)
Part 4: I’ve Got your Back or Watch your Back?
What
Most conflict within teams is not interpersonal, it’s caused by a failure in the team system eg unclear roles, responsibilities, authority and decision-making, however this leads to frustration which we tend to direct towards the people involved. We see the person as the problem rather than the system thus creating the conditions for interpersonal conflict and triangulation - within teams and between teams.
Triangulation will occur when two teams or individuals have an issue but lack the insight, skills and confidence to confront and resolve the tension between them. One (or even both) of them then seeks to deal with the situation by bringing in another person.
So What
The drama provided by the trianglulated relationship prevents problem solving and undermines progress because it allows us to avoid dealing with the actual problem.
Tiangulation Within Teams
Talking about someone instead of to someone creates a team culture of suspicion, mistrust and disrespect. Factions form, communication and collaboration breaks down and language changes from we to “us and them”. The team is no longer a team but a collection of individuals concerned with self preservation and personal agendas.
Triangulating Between Teams
When teams complain about other groups rather than tackling problems appropriately they distance themselves, building the barriers which contribute to the silo effect. And, as teams focus their attention and blame on other teams their ability to see their own internal issues is eroded.
Inter departmental and team meetings become dysfunctional when, under the guise of problem-solving, teams use these forums as a means to criticise and complain about other teams.
Now What
Invest in Team Learning
Develop the understanding and the skills required to function effectively as individual team members and as a collective unit e.g. facilitation skills, meeting management, decision making, systematic problem solving and conflict management
Update Team Ground RulesUsing team norms or rules to manage team members’ behaviour is a long established practise. These ground rules, when understood and agreed upon by the team, have proven effective in both preventing and managing triangulating behaviours (See the Team Tactics article
A Code of Conduct)
No Go Betweens
In this context acting as a go between is covert Rescuer behaviour, and even with the best of intentions messages can be misinterpreted and lost in translation. Instigate the “no go between” ground rule to prevent the carrying of messages from one person or group to another.
No Double Dealing
Double-dealing is defined as duplicitous or deceitful. When you have the double-dealing ground rule in place it’s so much easier to manage triangulation without long-winded complicated explanations. When a colleague offloads, complains and engages you in triangulating simply invoke the double-dealing ground rule, then ask what action they will take to resolve the problem.
Ask Frank
A team with very mixed disciplines invented a new team member called “Frank”. Frank always spoke frankly and became the team member people invoked when they wanted to test the integrity of their conversations as in, “What would Frank say?” “Frankly speaking…” became the team joke but it was a remarkably effective non confrontational method that gave people permission to surface difficult issues and speak openly.
Honour the Absent
One of the most important ways to build trust in teams (and a workplace) is to be loyal to those who are not present. Stephen Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People wrote, “...When you defend those who are absent, you retain the trust of those present."
Apply the Invisible Person Test
When the conversation turns to someone who is not present, apply the invisible person test by imagining they’re standing next to you. If the conversation is likely to upset or undermine that person then you’re hooked in an unhealthy triangulation. Unhook by ending or redirecting the conversation.
Own the Resolution
Some Team Leaders and Managers have a tough time dealing with employees who approach them with a complaint about another team member. While effective leaders will manage this through coaching it’s still helpful to state upfront that team members should try to resolve their own problems first, before coming to their manager.
Address problems problems early at their original source
When you’re busy and under pressure and a problem surfaces it can be tempting to ignore the the situation and let it "resolve itself." Whatever the cost of resolving the problem proactively, the price is often much higher if you let it fester. Doing nothing is often the most expensive strategy.
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