The Conflict between Your Managment and Coaching Roles
Sharon Feltham, Excellerate
A leader's management role and their coaching role involve two distinct disciplines. It's vitally important that managers understand the difference between the two and how the disciplines influence the nature of their relationship with their employees. When they do they reduce the confusion and the conflict between the two roles so they lead, manage and coach more effectively.
The Managing Relationship
The Manager is required to deliver on orgnisational objectives, meet deadlines, set performance standards and review the performance of members of the team. This managerial role establishes a power-based relationship with your team member, which influences the nature of your conversations as well as the type of possible interventions.
The Coaching Relationship
The Coach encourages the employee to share where they are struggling and where they are trying to improve. The focus is on increasing self-awareness and creating insight into their particular way of dealing with situations. This disclosure creates a vulnerable space, requiring a high degree of mutual confidentiality and trust. The coaching relationship is an equal partnership. There is freedom of expression so what needs to be said, is said without risk of reprisal.
| Role |
Nature of Relationship |
Relationship Focus |
| Managing |
Power difference between manager
and subordinate |
Accountability
Clarity of requirements
Focus on deliverables
Performance measures |
|
Coaching
|
No power difference
Equal partnership |
Development through insights and self-awareness
Enabling new distinctions and interpretations
Competency building
Self-correcting ability |
You can see the dilemma.
The manager reviews a team member’s performance, which can influence pay, advancement and opportunities while also inviting them (as their coach) to reveal their concerns, weaknesses and declare where they are struggling.
The manager directs the team member in the performance of tasks and in some instances non-negotiable results by a due date while the coach focuses on the development of the team member.
"So who am I talking to?” wonders the team member, “What is the nature of this conversation?”
If neither the manager nor team member is clear there is the potential for very real confusion. It can create the situation where they may tell you things (as their manager) that they think you want to hear. However, for the coaching relationship to work you need to hear what they really think.
The two roles are not as incompatible as you may think. Myles Downey, (Director School of Coaching at the Industrial Society) throws a little light on the potential conflict between the roles.
“A manager coach must encourage people to learn for themselves without losing the ability to direct. He suggests the key words of management coaching are potential and performance. The focus is on task performance based on the belief that the employee is capable of great things.” As such, he defines coaching by managers as "the art of facilitating the development, learning and performance of another”
How to Work with this
To minimise the influence of the power factor in your coaching relationship either lower your status or raise your team member’s status. For example:
1. Avoid sitting behind the desk or across the table from the person you are coaching, sit side by side.
2. If possible and where practical, meet in a neutral environment - other than your “manager’s office”.
3. Do all that you can to make your team member relaxed and comfortable.
4. Describe how you rely on their support help you do your job well. Acknowledge where they have helped you to do this.
5. Set up regular one-to-one meetings to develop the relationship so it becomes a familiar routine
6. Remember coaching is not one-sided it is a partnership that involves dialogue. You don’t always have to take the initiative; your team member can sometimes take the lead.
7. You don’t have to have all the answers. When you don’t know the answer to a question, admit it openly. Offer to find the answer and provide it at the next coaching session. And remember the best answer is often the right question.
8. Assess the abilities of your team member and act accordingly. Be careful not to "overcoach" an experienced team member.
Central to coaching is the belief that people want to and can do a good job. If you don’t believe this of your team member then no matter how technically competent you may be in executing the mechanics of coaching, it won’t work - for you or your team member.
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